“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galations 6:2

When tragedy and pain cause heartache and suffering we too often ask ourselves the wrong question.

Why?
Why me?
Why this?

I think it’s important to ask the right question. We need to ask ourselves something different.

What?
What is God’s plan for this pain?
What am I supposed to learn from this trial?

I believe we can actually use the pain in our lives for something positive. I’m not making light of your heartache….or guaranteeing that your disease will be cured overnight. And I don’t mean that just because you put your faith and trust in God suffering magically goes away. It doesn’t. BUT – as Christians, we can embrace our earthly trials with God’s strength and grow from the experiences we are going through.

With God’s love and comfort, the tears and sorrow we battle through today, slowly and quietly change to compassion and empathy for others in the future.

I’ve grieved the loss of a child. God was my comfort. Honestly – I’m probably still not healed – BUT – I’m better able to identify with, counsel and comfort other grieving mothers. My hope is that they see God’s strength and love in me.

I’ve been through a divorce, overwhelming debt and single parenthood. God was with me every step of the way. And I’ve still got a long way to go – BUT – now, I can look at the heart of people instead of condemning their choices. My prayer is that I can show other people in similar situations God’s love and promise.

Here is a challenge. Change your perspective from WHY to WHAT. Try using your sorrow to be someone else’s light. Let your pain and suffering show others that God rescued you and he is willing to do the same thing for them.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” Psalm 145:9

When we built our home, even before the saw dust settled – I took my shovel and headed to Grandma’s house to dig out some lilac shoots to transplant into my new flower beds. The next year I eagerly anticipated the first lilac bloom of spring like a kid waiting for the Easter Bunny. My hopes were crushed. That first spring the shoots were barren, barely even a green leaf, no sign of those wonderful smelling flowers.

The years went by and each spring I would stare at that lilac bush daily wondering when I would see the pretty little buds bursting open. Oh, the bush got bushier. The leaves got greener. The branches got taller and everyone had great advice.

Prune it in the summer.
Prune it in the fall.
Feed it.
Fertilize it.
Cross pollinate it…..what the heck?!

The lilacs in Grandma’s garden continued to burst with color and fragrance. She assured me that my flowers would eventually bloom. It would just take time. Well! I consider myself a reasonably patient person – but enough was enough. Last summer I told my husband that if that old lilac bush didn’t bloom by this spring I was going to yank it out and start all over again.

Going on fifteen years in our house and THIS spring…..the teeniest of tiniest…..one little itty bitty shoot…..barely a glimmer of purple bloomed on that crazy bush. Just when I was ready to pull on my gardening gloves and yank that bush out by the roots for the burn pile – it bloomed.

And, as we’ve been studying the story of Cain and Abel, if I’m totally honest, that’s how I felt about Cain. A part of me wasn’t patient with just pruning the family tree – I was expecting God to yank him out by his roots!

But – as we know, and thankfully so, the story doesn’t end with “THE MURDER”. Genesis Chapter 4 goes on to list descendant after descendant after descendant in Cain’s family tree until FINALLY – maybe when hope for anything good coming from Cain was just about ready to give out – we read that the children of the children of the children of the first death row inmate made tents, and flutes and bronze jewelry…..well, maybe not jewelry – but they made positive impacts in their world.

What a wonderful, merciful God we serve! Too many times in my own life God would have had plenty of justification to yank me out of the flower bed and toss me on the burn pile for my disobedience, my disregard, my sin. But God knows and sees even the teeniest, tiniest bit of good in us. And he so wants to have an eternal relationship with us that he is willing to wait years and years – he is willing to feed and fertilize, even cross pollinate – to give us that chance to bloom into the something good that he knows we can be.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.
Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”   2 Peter 3:8-9

“After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast. I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth.” Jeremiah 31:19

Crazy thing – I had a “free weekend”….no wrestling AND it was snowing (in April) – so I used my “free” time to go through boxes and boxes of pictures from my mom’s house. Like most grandmas she had “brag books” filled with pictures of babies growing up over the years. I spent hours flipping through pages of chubby cheeked, naked bummed babies bathing in sinks……to little gapped toothed guys riding like hell on training wheels…..to handsome young men, grinning from ear to ear with their first girlfriend in front of their first car.

They grow.

Kind of like sin. No! I’m not saying that kids are evil or inherently sinful….or that you should change your toddler’s name to Damien (or Carrrie)…..but kids grow up. And sins have a way of growing as well. They start little – like the little white lie ….that doesn’t really seem like a real sin – because you had the best intentions….but somehow turns into something bigger and bigger as you have to think up other lies to support the first lie.

Or maybe sins are like your waist line – you don’t just wake up one morning fat and out of shape! Your hips grow little by little by little until you look back at those pictures of you from the 70’s in Daisy Dukes, tube socks and Farrah Fawcett hair and go – “Hey! I’m not a size 2 anymore!”…….when did I get fat?

Sin sneaks up on you.

Look – we all have regrets. We all have things in our lives we are ashamed of (just take a look at my mom’s pictures!) We’ve all sinned. And just like dieting and exercising it’s often difficult with our human sinful natures to take that first step to get back on the right path.

But – here’s the good news! Unlike those pictures that come back to haunt us – God has assured us that our sins can be erased. “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19) And did you catch that? Not just forgiven! But that we will be REFRESHED! (Rested! Restored! Revitalized! Revived! Rejuvenated! – Oh! YES Please!!!!)

He is waiting. With open arms. Just simply turn around.

“Come near to God and he will come near to you……” James 4:8