“But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5

Each morning the alarm startles me out of sleep. Then the cat follows me around the house as I get ready to go to work. He weaves in and out of my legs in an attempt to a) get me to feed him, b) act like he like me or c) trip me…..maybe d) all of the above. I roust the kids from slumber. Not much talking goes on before I have my first cup of coffee.

And then I’m off to the office. Eight hours a day. It’s a good job….as far as jobs go. I work. They give me money…..my wage, my salary, my paycheck.

But what about those things I don’t earn? I have been so blessed in my life. There have been times when I am absolutely blown away by friends and family – who out of the clear blue sky – hand me something that I haven’t worked for….a plate of homemade cookies, a bracelet, a gift card, an inheritance. Presents. Gifts.

My kids are older now. Easter basket prep has gotten a lot simpler. No more painting Easter eggs late at night after the boys go to bed then trying to scour the evidence off my fingers before morning. So, I’ve had a lot more time and quite frankly, many more reasons for some deep reflection. This Easter season the thought that keeps running through my head (besides – are there more calories in a Reese’s peanut butter egg or a peanut butter cup?) is – “What did I do to deserve such an amazing gift?”

I celebrate Easter not because of the ham and the chocolate (or the chocolate covered ham) – I celebrate Easter because Christ sacrificed himself to a brutal and grueling death….and then rose again three days later…..for me. He gave me the gift of eternal life. A precious and valuable gift. How can I repay him? How many good works does a gift like that equate to? How could I possibly ever earn that?

The answer is – I can’t.

In today’s – social security is going to run out, I am independent hear me roar – culture it is such a foreign concept for someone to simply give you something. But Romans 6:23 is very specific in its wording….

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life.”

I earned death. It is my wage, my salary, my pay.

But a gift has been given. You can’t earn a gift. It’s free. A free gift. Freedom from death. Eternal life.

“Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life.
Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,
and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.
Do you believe this.?”   John 11:25-26

“For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I have always been somewhat of an over achiever. When I was in first grade I told my mother that I was never going to have children and when I grew up I was going to be the first woman president of the United States. I then promptly started a petition and staged a coup demanding that we be permitted seconds in the lunch line. Talk about skeletons in your closet….glad THAT never came out as media fodder during my campaign!

But, as you can see…..plans change. Four kids and almost fifty years later and I am no closer to the White House than I was at age five. My “grown up” life plan involved liquidating all our assets, buying a motor home and traveling around the country while I home schooled the kids and wrote a novel. My husband – (being the practical one in the family) – wanted to see some kind of financial plan. I created spread sheets and maps and itineraries that looked great on paper. Funny thing the husband STILL wanted to have a profession look over those plans…..can’t imagine why – so we took them to a financial “planner”. To his credit – he didn’t laugh at me (out loud anyway) – and since he was paid on commission he said we could probably make it work.

And – once again – plans changed. Medical issues, doctor bills, family matters, and the fact that I probably couldn’t really handle teaching the boys advance math, kind of kept us in place.

More recently we have been taking a journey through the fascinating world of estate planning. That’s a fancy name for “what do you want done with all your junk when you die.” And as I am learning, those plans can and do change over the years as well.

One thing I know NEVER changes is God’s plan for our lives. Isaiah 14:24 tells us “The Lord Almighty has sworn, ‘Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen’…” I love that big, bold statement from my big, bold God. There is nothing wishy-washy in that proclamation. God has a plan for me….and He doesn’t really need my input – or my spreadsheets – or my itinerary. He has a plan.

Life goes much smoother when our thinking and scheming starts to line up with what God has planned. It is a beautiful feeling to know that God knew me before I was even born. It’s revitalizing to realize that He has a purpose for my life that will glorify Him. And quite frankly it’s refreshing to have Him take the unwelcome burden of trying to anticipate life’s twists and turns off my shoulders. God says – I’ve got this! I have it all planned for you. Follow me.

Absolutely you should have dreams and goals! I encourage you to plan your estate for the generations to come. But what I really, really would embolden you to do is spend time talking with God and asking Him the direction and path that will be best for you.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding’; In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Bad days. Good days. We all have them. The ups and downs of life are….just part of life. And – it’s a fact that some days are harder than others. Too often, though, I think that we just kind of end up wallowing in the bad. We have this mind-set that we have to grit our teeth and bear it. Put on a game face – don’t show the enemy weakness. Always striving to believe ….’this too shall pass’ – and then I’ll get on with the “good” part of my life.

A very dear friend of mine threw me a life line recently in the form of a little devotional book. And as always happens – somehow – between me and her and God – this particular day He gave me just the message I needed to hear – just when I needed to hear it.

In a nut shell it was this – “It’s OK to tell God EXACTLY how you are feeling.” As a matter of fact – He knows anyway! He knows exactly what is in your heart at all times. And the crazy thing is – he WANTS to hear it. So just go ahead and enjoy the most perfect relationship where you can just be you. Where you can unload and not worry that a grudge will be held because of what you said. Where you can shout about your burdens and praise God for your blessings in the same breath.

In other words…..some days it simply is OK not to be OK.

Humans are demonstrative creatures. God made us to feel emotion. If you are happy – tell God why. If you are weary – admit it to God and ask for strength. If you are feeling sad – ask for comfort. If you are afraid – that’s OK too. It is okay to be weak…..because we are human.

As a matter of fact – 2nd Corinthians 12, verses 9-10 tell us that God WANTS us to show our weaknesses. “But He said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Oh! How refreshing to know that God accepts us just as we are. On the hard days, on the scary days, on the sad and weary days – it’s okay if our lives are not perfect. It’s okay to admit that we don’t have it all together all the time. be human. Give God your bad and watch him make it good.

“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses,
in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
(2 Cor. 12:9-10)