OK (to be not OK)

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“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

One of my go to girls asked me the other week how I was doing. I told her that I felt like a Japanese anime cartoon who was being bled of color…..turning black and white around the edges. I was feeling leached; like someone had stuck me with a needle and drained all the color out of my life. So – call me dramatic, but in my flair for big, bold adjectives and descriptions – the word I was searching for was …..WEARY.

She wanted to pray for me and I knew it. I trusted her, as a close friend, with what was on my heart. Too often, as humans – especially in this age of independence – we erroneously equate weariness with weakness. I was not weak. I was weary. Bone weary. Weary to the core. Just plain drained.

I was overburdened with work and paperwork and housework. The kid’s practices, school, discipline, events….and well – just having kids was wearing me down. Doctor appointments, schedules, medical issues, finances, family – you name it – I was juggling it.

But I remember this clearly…..in her own special way she encouraged me. She simply smiled. She has this little secret smile that said she knew everything was going to be okay. I don’t think she was cocky that her intercessory prayer would be heard, but rather she knew that in simply saying those words – “I’m not okay” – I was more than 90% of the way to where I needed to be.

Psalm 116:10 says something subtle, but very important to those of us who are weary. It says

“I trusted the Lord when I said ‘I am greatly afflicted’ “.

Being weary as a Christian is NOT the same as being weak. Being able to say – “Hey, God – I’m not OKAY!” is a matter of trust. When we admit that we need God’s comfort it means we have faith that he is going to give us what we need.

God wants us to admit our weariness. He wants us to need him. He wants nothing more than to comfort and cradle us in our most weary, overburdened, stressed moments. He dearly wants to give us rest. Isn’t it amazing that we have a protector who loves us just as we are? He will hear us – and still love us – when we say “I’m NOT okay.”

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